Here’s some jokes I collected in the nineties, I don’t have any attributions for them so if you know who wrote them, please drop me a note.
Two Guys were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hole, the other filling it in again. An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, Tm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don’t get it — why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?’ The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, ‘Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-person team. But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick.’
A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.” “What do you mean?” said the pirate, “I feel fine”. “What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before”. “Well, said the pirate, “We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now. The bartender replied, “Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?” The pirate explained, “We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I’m fine, really”. “What about that eye patch?” “Oh” said the pirate, “One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye”. “You’re kidding” said the bartender. “You couldn’t lose an eye just from bird shit:’ “It was my first day with the hook”.